Tuesday, February 4, 2014

What I Did This Afternoon

I thought I was over the whole show biz thing. I've done a few commercials and crouched down by Daniel Craig's tight pants - I mean really tight pants, what could be better than that? Don't get me wrong, it was fun, but there is so much editing here to be done. Tons and tons of editing. Academic books and emerging markets presentations. I have big important decisions to make - should I go with bio-gas or biogas? And in Turkey, an editor's work is never done, even if I have already edited something from 'man' to 'humanity', my clients like to re-edit me so it says 'human' on the next go round so the sentence makes no sense. Yes, exactly like the labors of Sisyphus.

Yesterday, in the middle of editing some exciting statistics about Turkey's regional dominance in 'white goods' (that's major appliances, America.) I got a text that read, "Hey Alba, I called you for the movie of Russell Crowe. They wanted to see you for supporting role. Call me when you see this. Thanks."* I replied, "Oh, that Russell Crowe...why doesn't George Clooney ever call me?"

Was I free today? Well, no, I now needed to find out what 'brown goods' are (that's small appliances) and edit 30 slides by Wednesday. And it takes me a long time because I may not be an editor so much as someone who quite possibly has obsessive compulsive disorder in regards to the English language.

But show biz had called again. I would be playing a nurse who works in a hospital here in Constantinople immediately after World War I. I would have three lines that I would deliver to my co-star, Russell Crowe. Yes, this Russell Crowe.

So I really wanted to nail the audition and get the part (Seriously, I know there are a ton of jokes that I could make here, especially using the word 'nail' and 'piece'. Go on, be creative and make your own jokes.) I got my lines and began memorizing them in between the GDP and CAGR and a bit of TUBİTAK, but only once in a while. I gave a hundred million line readings to the lines, but I kept forgetting things. As a kid I had a photographic memory, where the F did that go because now I could not remember "forwarded relief packages" for the life of me. There were only three lines. I read them before bed and when I got up - all the while sweating my 'white goods' deadline.

At 3:30 off I went to Cihangir. Why was the Harbiye Military Museum covered in banners that needed editing? Why was the verb 'are' not in title case? Why was 'commission' misspelled? These were the things that were running through my mind along with the lines. When I got to the studio, a series of tall, handsome men led me to the audition space. I was asked to fill out a form with my measurements. OMG, why is 'shoes' misspelled as 'shouws'. I have to stop this. I am an actress now. But really, 'shouws'?

On tape they wanted me to do two line readings, one of a soft and gentle nurse and one of an angrier nurse. After 5 takes I still couldn't get the lines right for 'gentle nurse'. The 'angry nurse' I nailed in one take. I guess my year of the bitch project is rolling right along.

As I walked home, of course, I re-wrote the scene in my head.

In the bowels of a hospital in Constantinople, Russell Crowe and I are talking.

Bitchy Nurse: World War I happened. Get over it.(beat) I know this cute little restaurant here in Sultanahmet. They rent rooms upstairs. We could grab a bite and then I could help you forget all about the big, bad war.(Holding the top of one fist to my ear and the other to my mouth...wait, no...I love how your dirty little minds went there, but that's how phones worked back then...and mouths.) Call me.

This is a movie I really want to see. In fact, I could edit out movie completely and enjoy it a whole lot more.

*Only uptight people edit text messages.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

The Djinns of Sultanahmet

It’s true; the djinns are everywhere, not just in Sultanahmet. You’ll see them walking around, the air of otherworldliness surrounding them. Your eyes will be drawn to them or perhaps, away. They are unmistakable, strange. There is one who lives in my neighborhood. When I see him his hands are always up, palms facing away from me. That is his message to me. Hands. Create.

Not all djinns grant wishes, not all djinns are tricksters. They sometimes are reminders. They point the way. I guess you would say the djinn you find depends on you. And they come to you unexpectedly, perhaps even unwanted.

They are everywhere in Sultanahmet, it’s something the guidebooks don’t tell you. But I will tell you. You’ll be distracted, tired from waiting on line at the Haiga Sofia or rushing to meet your friends by the tram. The djinn will be your waiter or selling tickets to the Sufi theatre or the rug merchant or would you like to see this beautiful necklace, it’s as beautiful as you are.

My djinn came to me at Christmas time in the Spice Market. My friend D and her daughter L were visiting me. We’ll buy spices and presents, D said. L would take photos. The Spice Market itself is a magical place teaming with people and colors and smells. You come in and from large, lit cases honey drips from the combs. Sweets are piled, high guaranteed to be aphrodisiacs, figs crammed with walnuts, long staffs of molasses filled with nuts. The metaphors act on your eyes and your mouth and your imagination. Sacks of spices flood your senses in vibrant colors and heady smells. Everyone is welcoming you, telling you to come in. Your voice mingles with the other voices and all the languages and all the people and all the fruits of the earth.

D buys little bowls, L wanders ahead taking pictures and I’ll show them the place where I buy cotton scarves. They're lovely ones for 5 TL, but it is hit or miss, and we find nothing there to buy. We walk slowly talking about evil eyes and key chains. I am holding packages and just looking at everything, when D and L walk into a store together. I am tired among the spice grinders and shiny cellophane packages.

When someone says to me, “I have rose tea for you.”

I politely turn and smile. It does not surprise me that he is not much taller than I am and thin. He is wearing white pants and a grey shirt with turned back white collar and cuffs. Perhaps as he keeps talking to me I am not surprised by his smooth dark skin or light goatee. His hair is shaved close to his scalp and has two lightning bolts on one side. There is something soft about him. He is over groomed, his eyebrows two dashes above his eyes, the lines of his beard almost geometrically precise.

“I have rose tea for you,” he says again.

I don’t think I have rose tea at home, but smile and say, “No, thank you.”

“Ah,” he says, “but this is special rose tea.”

I smile.

“This is rose tea for you.” he says a third time. I am distracted, not paying attention that three times he has told me that the tea is for me. But my mind is on other things, where will we go next, should I suggest a place to eat in Sultanahmet?

“I will invite you to my home,” he says, “I will make you rose tea.”

I am still listening, not paying attention. “And we will…” he says, “and we will…” he says, “and we will…” he says. And even then I do not realize that what I am hearing are my desires listed one by one. It is a bit strange, but the thought is fleeting. He is smiling at me his strange smile. His co-workers smile at me too.

“It isn’t like other rose tea. It is different, it is special.”

I didn’t have rose tea at home. I had gotten a small brown package from Safran in my neighbourhood, but I had finished it.

Rose tea is not what you would expect, or at least, what I expected. It is not a cup that smells like a thousand roses in full bloom – the water pink or velvety red. Rose tea is not like that. When you make rose tea, the small clenched blooms open just a little, giving only the slightest hint of themselves to the water. It does not smell like roses, though somewhere there is a hint of that. Mostly, the tea smells green – and new – like the earth, like something from the earth. Drinking rose tea is all subtly. The water is infused with the lightest color green. Sometimes a trace of something you cannot describe crosses your palate. And then again, the taste of green, the new, a rosebud floating on warm water. Do I like rose tea? I’m not even sure I can say I like it – it is an experience that goes beyond liking. And it was wintertime and I had no rose tea at home.

But D and L now are smiling at me with their new packages.

“I am sorry,” I say, “I have to go.”

He smiles at me again, wistfully. A co-worker hands me a dried purple flower from another type of tea. I smell it and put it in my pocket hoping that it brings me luck, for remembrance, I’m not sure.

It’s been nine months now. I remember this because I met another djinn in Sultanahmet, with another message. Of course, it took me time to understand that message, too. So when you are in Sultanahmet seeing the tourist sights or in the Spice Market trying to find presents for the family or here in İstanbul among the magic and her wonder, I recommend you pay attention. I recommend that you say yes, because the djinn are everywhere, waiting.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Falling

Well, it's been quite a time since I last posted here. Revolutions everywhere - and I'm still not sure how it will all shake out. It's been good to be on break - from blogging, not from writing. I'm gearing up for some new things and more clarity on my direction. I love blogging, but I also want to write bigger, more literary pieces. Those take time - not to mention the time it takes to figure out that that is what I want to do. I've been putting my work out there - some of it has been enormously fun to do, especially my work for Ramp 1885 where I picture myself as İstanbul's answer to Bill Cunningham (or Humans of New York, for you crazy kids on Facebook out there.) Besides that I am trying to live a bullshit-free life (not taking it anymore), which I am thinking might just be the path to happiness that the Buddhists don't talk about. So now I am off for a walk in the park and hope that I can grab onto the kind of inspiration that got hold of me the other day as I was lugging my groceries back home, because it was beautiful, but I could not write it down and then I forgot it after I got home. Anyway, net-net - revolutions, writing, no bullshit. Yep, that's it for the last five months.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Translating İstanbul

It's Friday night and this is what I do to amuse myself. İstanbul translated.

Beşiktaş = Best game in Tash.

Yıldız = Get up that hilldız and you'll see them yıldız.

Fulya = F-ya

Bomonti = BoMo

Taksim = Taksi (Taksi dude is our designated driver.)

Beyoğlu = Obey you - that's the current vibe.

Cihangir = D'you hang here? (I find it too full of itself.)

Galatasaray = Gotta lotta sorry.

Galata Tower = Gotta lotta tower. *Message me for the joke I didn't write here, NSFW.

Karaköy = Carry your (self down for some Namlı yum yum.) (Güllüoğlu too.)

Nişantaşı = Me-chi-chi-auntie-say

Çukurcuma = Cute kooky junka.

Sarıyer = Sorry you're here?

Cınaraltı = Six Sycamores (It's all gone with the wind or view from the bridge.)

Kuruçeşme = Could you text me? (When the band comes on?)

İstinye = Is it in ya?

Tarabya = Terribly far, ya.

Eminönü = Ms and Ö, Üs

Fatih = Faith

Balat = Buy lot (or buy now before it costs a lot.)

Kuzguncuk = Gesundheit (Thank you, Rich Altman for this one.)

Üsküdar = You skirt daring (at the knee.)

Acıbadem = Agita from the bottom (of my heart.)

Kartal = Cart y'all (We've got a metro!)

Fenerbahçe = (No f'in way, Ezgi and Tülin will kick my sweet, smart a$$.)

And this is what other people do on a Friday night.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Secret In Our Hearts

Something happened to me on Sunday night and as I write this I am not exactly sure what I feel about it. I had a lovely lazy morning and then cleaned and organized the apartment all afternoon. I needed to get out, I just can’t be indoors and in my head all day. I wanted to go out when it was still light, but I am a putterer. I’ll organize the things in my nightstand or look for some notes and then root around the kitchen cabinets for some tea or hot cocoa mix. Sunday was no exception. It got dark and I still needed to go out. I decided I wanted to buy colored cleaning cloths at Bim (pink, yellow and blue, they make me happy), but I just couldn’t get out of the house. I had to pee 500 million times. Then I was out the door and remembered I needed to get some money. Then I got outside and it was raining and I needed to go back in and get my umbrella. Finally, I was on my way. I had so many thoughts swimming in my head – or, maybe no thoughts. I was walking along the street and noticing the rhythm of my walk. Down passed the parking lot, straight to the gas station, then on the long, re-paved sidewalk passed the luxury car dealership. On the road across from the Real Supermarket a woman stops me. She is asking me something in Turkish and usually I say I do not speak Turkish (in Turkish) and keep walking in that New Yorker way I have of stopping/not stopping. But there is something in her face and she immediately and fluently switches to English as so many people do here in İstanbul.

She is taking a workshop she explains and needs to tell a stranger a secret. She and the stranger should then exchange numbers and if the stranger wants they too can share a secret. Can she tell me her secret? I look at her and in a fraction of a second so many thoughts flip through my brain and my instinct takes over. I look at her face and my answer is yes.

She explains a little and then tells me her secret. Her secret comes from a place of pain and fear. I listen to her. Because of the work I used to do in New York I know her fear is a real one and statistically the odds are on the side of her fear being realized. Her face is soft, wounded, open. I do not know if I should offer my thoughts – perhaps she only needed to be witnessed.

I am not sure about any workshop that asks you to take your deepest fear and confess it to a stranger on the street. Perhaps this is something better suited to the person who loves and understands you most or a highly trained and skilled professional. But what I have noticed is that there is such a thirst here in İstanbul in people from all walks of life for spiritual growth and healing. Everyone, everywhere, all the time. I don’t remember New York being like this, although it is true that you attract who and what is energetically like you. Perhaps this deep-rooted fear, this courage to face it and trust in a total stranger is what I am seeing now reflected in her face.

I ask her if I may offer my thoughts – and I do. She closes her eyes and opens them. The fear is still there, but there is also relief. Then she asks me a question that in the past would have felt like being pushed off a cliff. When I answer it I am in a place of peace. I guess I have faced this fear enough times to be close to accepting it. I guess the more and more you face your fears, the less fearful it becomes. Perhaps it doesn’t matter who you face your fears with - stranger or friend – as long as you face them.

Now she asks me if I will share a secret with her. Yes. I will. And when I do her face blooms like a flower. It is not a smile, but a look of peace, of acceptance.

“But this is wonderful,” she says.

“Yes, I know. Thank you.”

We exchange numbers and then I ask her name. Both our names have four letters and begin with an ‘A’. I put her number in my purse and she does the same with mine. We say goodbye and I keep thinking of her and our exchange. I go to Bim to buy the colored cleaning cloths and on the way home it stops raining.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Scenes from İstanbul

Japanese Wind - connotation, denotation - and yet you insist that you don't need a good (copy)editor.

Passion, for sale.

Holy Coffee, Hot CoCo, Herbal T, may you give us our daily cakes.

The Society of the Hercule Poirotists secret member ring.